From The "Draft" Vault ca. 2015 - Author Unknown

By Bill Craig


On Aging (Apologies To Dr. Seuss)

I cannot see
I cannot pee
I cannot chew
I cannot screw
Oh, my God, what can I do?
My memory shrinks
My hearing stinks
No sense of smell
I look like hell
My mood is bad -- can you tell?
My body's drooping
Have trouble pooping
The Golden Years have come at last
The Golden Years can kiss my ass!

=====================================================
===============================================
If you know the author, please let me know in the comments, and I will attribute.

Thanks

Bill

Please don't forget to register and join my team here:The Walk To End Alzheimer's

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular Posts

Thanks, Suzette!

By Bill Craig
Image
My friend and dementia counsellor Suzette recently wrote a very informative (and flattering) article about the "German Boy" and his upcoming bike ride, and you may see it by clicking the title of this entry. I am very appreciative of her and the GA chapter of the Alzheimer's Association for supporting me, and my ride is dedicated to them, Alzheimer patients and their caregivers as well as the four-footers. Incidentally, D and I were finally able to attend this month's Forget Me Not luncheon (for Alzheimer's patients and their care givers) at South of La Paz Mexican restaurant in Atlanta and I'd like to thank my friend for making this possible. Really , Suzette's so sweet she makes ya wanna roll over and do all kinds of doggy tricks for her! I kid, of course, but I don't think I have ever met a more charismatic person in my life. It was also a pleasure to meet and converse with Kathy Simpson who also works with the Georgia chapter. Kathy and I have e-m
Read more

Skipping Ahead A Bit In The Memoirs

By Bill Craig
Image
This is part of something I wrote on another message board with some editing, okay? -------------------------------------------------------------------------- My very good friend on the Dope, Oakminster , brought this to mind when he shared this in a thread of mine called "Your Favorite Commercials". Okay, I have already mentioned that my American soldier Dad brought me and my German Mom and brother to the US in 1960. At that time, I still spoke with a very heavy German accent and did my best to try to fit in. One of the ways was to "go out" for "Midget Football" and it was my first encounter with who would prove to be an inspiration to me and I am sure many others: Coach Roger Sauls who passed away last year. Coach was very patient with me, teaching me the "ins and outs" of throwing and kicking that strange looking egg-shaped ball! In those days, a lot of little boys went out for it and we all had our heroes on the Villa Rica Wildcats Varsity t
Read more

Alzheimer's Advocacy Forum 2011

By Bill Craig
Image
I have been given a great opportunity and honor from my local Alzheimer's Association and my counsellors Suzette and Kathy, and I wanted to tell y'all about it. It is a chance to be granted a scholarship to attend the Public Policy Forum/Advocacy Action Summit which will be May 15-17 2011 in Washington, DC. It will be a time to become educated about the issues, learn new skills, network with fellow advocates and take our message directly to members of Congress to fight for our legislative agenda and I am honored to have been chosen to have my name submitted for this event. If I am chosen to receive the scholarship, I plan not only to participate in all of the above events, but to serve as a "reporter" and write about what I see and experience there. This will also allow me to put to use my journalistic skills which have been "moth-balled" of late. Quoting from Karen Kauffman's* article, 2010 was a year of optimism for those of us in Alzheimer's Advo
Read more