Where To, Bud?

Whew! Another year almost "in the can", and in 17 days I'll be another year older ("and deeper in debt" for sure!), and that's scary as hell to me. See, I have a fear of death that is almost pathological in nature. Physical health for a 60 year old guy: Not bad, I reckon. Still walking and so far no symptoms of anything serious. Mental health: Well, that's a whole 'nother story, innit? Been doing my best to keep perspective on that, though at times I've caught myself doing and saying goofy shit, hallucinated at least once and lord at the times I've forgotten stuff which was said to me just minutes ago! My "saving grace" this year has been the ride for the animals (gave me something to do) and my continued friendship with BillDL and Becks. I tell you, there were times this past year when I could have gone completely batshit had it not been for those two. Speaking of the animals and their welfare: The "war" between the auth...

Yes, I know it's not an original idea, but it is a personal one, so this week I made it official: Every step of the Atlanta marathon next year will be dedicated to Alzheimer's victims and their loved ones everywhere. As I mentioned in a previous entry, the last one I ran I finished just 12 minutes before it ended at 4 hours and 48 minutes. Even though I'm 11 years older, my goal this time will be to finish at 4 hours and 30 minutes or under. I can do this and I will do this because I think it is important to show we still are your friends, your family and your neighbors and we don't need you to feel sorry for us or "write us off". We want you to stand by us and help us obtain the funding needed to research and cure this terrible disease. My counsellor Suzette has been notified of my decision, and in the coming months you will see information on planning and how you may participate if you wish. My mind is weak (ening), but my legs are strong. Please give m...

.......my SSDI hearing is scheduled for February, 2011. About time, right? So I guess between now and then, we'll be getting all my documentation together (Dr's records, etc) and generally just preparing (which for me, means reading everything I can get my hands on, on how such a thing is conducted. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- If you've been following the blog, you may have heard me mention the bicycle ride we completed in September, called C2CR2C and you may have followed us as we prepared and rode the highways from Texas to Georgia. If you did, then you may have gotten to know "Team C2CR2C", consisting of myself, my wife Dondra, BillDL of Scotland, his friend Becky of California, and our friend Marty Neese, who was the co-manager of the ride and whose duties included, driving the support van, navigating, repairing the bike and giving me the moral support I needed. In the last post, I wrote that Marty l...

Hey Y'all Dondra and I were saddened when one of my counsellors, Danelle, informed us of the passing of Mr. Jim Patterson, an Alzheimer's victim and very good friend to all who knew him. Jim and I belong to a support group called "Forget Me Not" and every month on a Wednesday we all meet at various restaurants in the metro Atlanta area for lunch that Suzette, Danelle and Kathy arange for us. Jim and his kind, friendly manner will be missed by all of us, and Dondra and I add our condolences to his family and friends. Also this week one of the C2CR2C ("Carrollton to Carrollton Ride to Care") teammates, Marty Neese, lost his 28 year old daughter Brandie to cancer. This is the second child he has lost. His 10 year old son Joshua died of muscular dystrophy several years ago. No child should precede his or her parent in death. Marty was an essential part of the team and we could not have succeeded without him. Although she was very ill, she insisted that her dad g...

I last ran a marathon in 1990 and finished in 4 hours and 48 minutes. (That's 12 minutes before they start taking up the cones, by the way! :-) ) Since the ride is done, and since I don't have plans to do another, I need something to keep me busy and in "planning" mode, so I've started training in addition to cycling (working all sets of leg muscles). As you might guess, I'll be starting off with "baby steps", i.e. walking and working my way up to running 5 and 10k's and adding mileage from there. If you're into walking and want to join me virtually, I recommend the cd's "60's walking (or 70's, 8's, 90's etc.) by a company called Workout Music (not affiliated). The pace begins at 3.0 mph and the music is geared to BPM (beats per minute) so that every time your foot hits the ground, you're walking in time to the music. The next level is 3.2, which you should do when you feel comfortable at 3.0 and can carry on a c...

Wow! Has it been a month already? I haven't written anything because basically, I had nothing to say, plus I didn't feel like it. I have to admit to a certain amout of "post-ride depression" now that my bicycle ride for the animals is finished and there's nothing to plan, nothing to train for and I haven't been on the bike since I got back from Texas. In the last entry I told you about my new doctor who doubled up on my Welbutrin and recommended we try ECT if that didn't work. Well, Becks suggested I read up on the electro-convulsive therapy and its benefits and risks, so I went to the college library and there, sitting in the "New Arrivals" rack was the book, "Doctors of Deception: What They Don't Want You to Know About Shock Treatment" by Linda Andre (herself a former ECT patient). To put it bluntly, what I read scared the hell out of me and it's a good thing the double dose of Welbutrin is working, because no way am I going t...

As I wrote in my last entry, we finished the ride and I have written a synopsis which has been edited and formatted by my friend BillDL of Scotland and is visible now. Just click on the title line above to take you there. Maybe you'll find it interesting, and once again, sincere thanks to Bill and Becks for all you did for us! But that's not what this blog is about: I have a new doctor. He is a geriatric psychiatrist and my first appointment was on the 20th of this month. The and I have a great rapport - much better than the last one and he made some changes in my psychotropic meds. I am very grateful to my friend and counsellor Suzette for setting this up for me. So what did he do and say? Well first he asked about my symptoms, and they're still short-term memory loss related to my depression, so he increased my Welbutrin from 150 to 300 mg a day. I am also still on the Lamiktal - 150 mg one per day. One thing D reminded me of is about a month ago I had a very weird (I sup...

Pictures and narrative are coming soon! Thanks Bill

.... I'll set out on the road from Texas back here to Georgia for "The Carrollton to Carrollton Ride to Care", which, as y'all know is a ride to benefit animal rights and welfare. A click on the title line will take you to the website crafted with loving care by my friends BillDL of Scotland and Becks from California. Someone once said that one of the most precious gifts one person can give another is time , and the time my 2 friends have devoted to my ride has been precious indeed. Tanks you two,once again. Whenever I tell someone the distance I will cover each day, their eyes get big, but when you think about it, that 75 miles will go quickly enough, because when I'm on my bicycle, I'm in a whole different world with no intrusions on my thoughts (unless one considers the cars and 18 wheelers which come blowing by me!). Yes, of course those hills are sometimes tough to conquer, but there's always the downhill part, which I look forward to the most. Not a ...

Yes, me . Me who used to be in radio, played in a hundred rock groups, acted onstage and was Mr. Cool and "Swayve" with his patients....... has stage fright. As preparations slowly wind down and the days of my ride begin to loom closer, the publicity for C2C R2C is beginning to intensify and in a little better than 8 hours I'll be interviewed about why I'm going to ride my bicycle 800 miles in the blazing hot sun. The program is called "Animal Wise Radio" ( http://www.animalwiseradio.com/ ) and concerns itself with animal welfare and "No Kill Nation" as well as spay, neuter and adopt. It's on from 2:15pm till 2:30 pm EDT at the above link if you'd like to listen in at the above link. It's also going to be archived and the website is very easily navigated, so finding the "archive" button won't be very hard at all, as it is right on the front page. I'd also appreciate your visiting the C2C R2C website at http://www.c2cr2...

I hear that on the average of 10 times a week these days, and it's not her fault, it's just a natural thing, and I do forget a lot of things - sometimes only 3 minutes after I am told them. I do it so much that I have begun compensating for this as well. For instance, one might hear me ask, "When, who, what, where....... did you say (example) is, was, etc." Well, she may have said it, or I may have imagined it, but either way, it avoids the "don't you remember" phrase. In other news: Here we are less than a month until the Ride To Care ( www.c2cr2c.com ) and we are in last minute aggravation stage, meaning that one of two of our sponsors may not come through for us. This means, of course, a lot of time spend on the phone or online by yours truly, many sleepless nights and hardly any time to train decently, but we'll make it. I have two very good friends who are there for me come rain or shine: BillDL and Becks and they won't let me get "d...

Hey Just checkin' in to let you know all is well - now. Dondra had a very close call with death a couple of weeks ago when one of her intestines perforated and fluid leaked into her abdomen. I took her to ER and they quickly shipped her to Altanta Medical Center where 5 years ago she'd had a gastric bypass. What happened was she developed gout and her primary care physician put her on an inflammatory medication - a huge no-no for anyone who's had that kind of surgery. Luckily the surgeon who did the bypass was on that day and, after making 5 laprascopic incisions, managed to get the intestine repaired. Wednesday I took her back to her doc and he removed the drain and she continues to recuperate and promises to be ready to navigate the C2C ride next month. Meantime, guess who's "Mr. Mom"? Yup, the time is getting closer and if you haven't already, please go to the website ( http://www.c2cr2c.com/ ) and write something in the guestbook to cheer me on - I...

...... in about 475 days. No that isn't a typo up there. I got a letter from my lawyers (Binder&Binder) this week and that's what it said. I googled it, and it appears there's such a backlog, that's the average time to get to anyone's case from the time it's requested. He (Charles Binder or one of his lackeys) did say that there's the remote possibility of a video hearing with a judge who may not be busy doing something else, but for me not to count on it. Oh well, at least now I don't have to worry that they'll schedule the hearing to interfere with the ride. No, you're right: It IS totally unrelated to the subject! Don't forget to feed the critters! Thanks Bill

...... but NOT gone completely, okay? I got a "pep talk" from "Coach Becks" a few days ago .... .... and she told me that if I'm going to cross that finish line I had better get crackin'! I agree. I've been spending way too much time on organization, sponsorship and just plain WORRY, that it's affecting my training, and we can't have that happen. So what I'm going to need to do is cut out all extraneous things in my life and concentrate SOLELY on the ride. It's GOT to be that way, or else it's going to fail and as the saying goes, "Failure is NOT an option!" There's another saying/motto which goes like this: "We will do what we say we will do We won't commit to something we cannot do Once we commit to it we WILL do it" My friend BillDL is not only the co-administrator of this blog, he's been working daily on the c2cr2c website which you can visit (please do by clicking the blue subject line above or the...

And if it hadn't been for my sweet friend Becks, that would have never happened. See, it was Becky who, a few months back found me this clinic which treats patients who have no insurance and charges them a sliding scale fee (click on the subject line to take you to their site). My new doc (a very nice "Doogie Howser" type who D says "looks like he belongs on a skateboard") did a very thorough examination with lots of blood work drawn, wrote scrips for all my meds (including the depression ones), and I was only charged 25% of what the whole thing would have cost me had I not been on a sliding scale! He even did a prostate exam (with blood - not with the finger up the "poop-chute"!) and checked my vitamin D level (for the bones and arthritis). All in all, a very thorough exam, a very nice doc and a sweet friend who found him for me. Oh yeah, speaking of the "poop chute": I mean, that is what he's singing, right - "Don't take it u...

.....but I can't anymore, 'cause D won't let me. (She thinks that because of my short-term memory loss, I might forget to pull and go splat all over the DZ!) But I still wear my t-shirt which reads "Jumps from perfectly good airplanes" and recently I got something in the mail from Kevin Burkart who's going to do 200 perfect jumps (click on the title to check out his site) in one day to benefit and call attention to Parkinson's (which his dad has, and which I also am getting). www.perfectjumps.com SOMEBODY'S gonna be busy packing 'chutes! Here's my newest rock group which I love (thanks, Johnny L.A., for the vid) AFTER Here Come The Mummies. Please don't forget the fur-babies? Thanks! Bill

As y'all know, this type of entry is just "anything about anything", so here goes: Anyone remember Rich Hall and his "sniglets" (words which should be in the dictionary, but aren't)? Here's my all-time favorite: Expresshole-n. A person who goes through the grocery store's 12-item express lane with 22 items. Do you have a favorite? Let the rest of us know (hint: do a google search on "sniglets")! My best friend I ain't never met, Johnny L.A. from The Straight Dope will every now and then send me a YouTube or other clip he thinks is appropriate for "The German Boy", and here's one more: (Y'all have read my references to me being a "happy boy" if so and so were to occur? Well, John found a song with just that title!) Click on the title of this entry and please give it a few moments to start once you click on the arrow.... Good things still happening for C2CR2C ! My Scots friend Bill is still at the helm of t...

A couple of days early, I know, but I wanted to go ahead and post this entry lest I forget. You know, in the 17 years I worked at my hospital, not one Veteran's Holiday did my previous employer even acknowledge there were any veterans employed there. To my knowledge they still do not. This needs to stop. We're in the process of fighting a war in two countries. Over 1,000 of our young have been killed so far, our veteran's benefit program is a shambles, hospitals badly need modernizing and renovating and there's no end in sight. As you travel this Memorial Day weekend, and you see the flags out on the streets, highways and medians or as you display your own flags, please remember not only YOUR loved ones but those who may be standing on the side of the road or sitting on street corners holding up "Homeless, Need Work" signs. When they gave of themselves, they didn't ask "What's in it for me?", they just did it, gave their all, and as the song...

...... every now and then I wake up and feel a little gray matter has trickled out onto my pillow and I know my friend Johnny L.A. from the Straight Dope has been in there, trepanning again. Lord knows what he expects to find in that poor slab of organ I call a brain, but here's what he said he found this time: That first part kinda sounds like Jaimie Brockett singing about the USS Titanic, only a lot funnier, but the last part, I swear he made up. Or it came from a Python picture. Sure didn't come from MY brain. It's still on tunnels and donuts! John ? Thanks for the laughs when I need 'em the most. Bill CLICKEN SIE UND FEEDEN SIE! Danke!

My friend and dementia counsellor Suzette recently wrote a very informative (and flattering) article about the "German Boy" and his upcoming bike ride, and you may see it by clicking the title of this entry. I am very appreciative of her and the GA chapter of the Alzheimer's Association for supporting me, and my ride is dedicated to them, Alzheimer patients and their caregivers as well as the four-footers. Incidentally, D and I were finally able to attend this month's Forget Me Not luncheon (for Alzheimer's patients and their care givers) at South of La Paz Mexican restaurant in Atlanta and I'd like to thank my friend for making this possible. Really , Suzette's so sweet she makes ya wanna roll over and do all kinds of doggy tricks for her! I kid, of course, but I don't think I have ever met a more charismatic person in my life. It was also a pleasure to meet and converse with Kathy Simpson who also works with the Georgia chapter. Kathy and I have e-m...

Hey Got lots of stuff to do before the 2010 ride to care. I have my hands full getting fuel costs and accomodations for my van and my crew, so may I ask y'all to please link to our site at www.c2cr2c.com ? We not only need your pennies and dimes, I also need the moral support. Please help the "German Boy" do this thing, if you can. I "preesh"! Thanks, Bill and here's your oldie and no dancing, clapping or foot stomping allowed! I mean it this time, dammit! :-) >

Went to see my main doc today, Dr. Battle, and he ROCKS! Knew I had no insurance and allowed me to pay a very low fee for my visit. And wrote my scrips for Lasix, Allopurinal and Darvocet, which I use when I need it. I asked him to please not order any bloodwork, because we cannot afford it, so he didn't. I told him this was the last time I would see him, because I could not afford the visits, the labwork, nor the meds he prescribes: Azor being the most expensive. I will run out of the Lamiktal at the end of next week, so I am trying to "wean" myself down right now. The Wellbutrin will last another week and a half, but I have to see the shrink to get refills, but because the COBRA ran out, I owe him $140.00 instead of the usual co-pay of $30.00. Yes my dear Becks, the cheap clinic is already in the works, as is my request to hurry up my SSDI and the meds I can get free or for very little money. Sucks to be me, Ah reckon! But PLEASE don't forget the 4-footers! It's...

I get this crap about once every 3 months, and if you've ever had it, you know what it feels like: hardly any tears on your conjunctiva (sounds kinda obscene, that, doesn't it? Like being in bed with 2 Latino girls who sing?) and you feel (or I do) sleepy all the time. Plus it itches and you're contagious, so if you mess up, rub your eyes and then shake hands with someone, you'd better tell 'em to go wash their hands or they're likely to get it, and like Herpes ("cold sores", yeah, right - gimme a break here, dude! You been "eatin' at the "Y" again!) they ain't gonna be your bestest friend for a while! When I worked in the ER, if you had it, they wanted you to stay home. Period. No being a "hero", keep your ass at home. For that reason (because the screen is hurting my eyes), I'm gonna keep it short and sweet this time, wish all you muthas (it's a joke , okay?) a very happy Mother's Day Sunday, and ask you...

It's a great-looking site and is located here: www.c2cr2c.com. As Becks wrote, please visit us, link to us and support us any way you can, thanks! Remember also that there's a contact form there where you can write and ask us questions. The animals, please? Thanks. Click here for an easy and free way to help care for those in need at The Animal Rescue Site! Stress relief here: Thanks! Bill

Doing well, I hope? As for me, nothing much has changed except I'm spending a lot of time on the bicycle training for C2CR2C coming up in September. Our website can be accessed athttp://c2cr2c.giving.officelive.com and will give y'all a little of an idea what it's all about. This is a temporary website put together for us by my good friend Bill Dalziel who lives in Scotland. It's been heartening to have him contribute so much time and effort for someone he hasn't even met and for such a worthy cause. Bill DZL is also co-administrator of this blog, by the way. Still nothing from SSDI and I'm going on the assumption that it will be a long time or even never before I get an answer that they've approved my disability. It's also why I've started back working a little - not in an ER environment and not very often. This is basically for an agency which supplies respiratory therapists for hospitals who find themselves short-staffed. Before you write back tha...

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I just feel like I'm talking to myself, and I do that too much in real life. This blog is meant to be a dialogue, not an editorial. Please don't forget to click to feed every day! Click here for an easy and free way to help care for those in need at The Animal Rescue Site! Thanks and see you sometime. Bill

I've been trying to lift everyone's spirits with my crazy and funny ways, but this ain't funny anymore. Click on the title for the latest Alzheimer's Disease figures so far and you'll see what I'm talking about. Now the chances are, you know someone with this awful disease. The numbers are just too great, and in my opinion, they are overwhelming. We appeal, we appeal and we appeal. We write letters to our congress persons, but what good does it do? LOOK at the damn FIGURES and divide 'em out! Do you see what I mean???? It ain't just one race! It's all races, Godammit! So what are we going to do? Cry for the death of our loved ones who succumb to Alzheimer's? SURE WE ARE! That's only right! We will mourn them! It isn't their fault! But what else can we do???? WE CAN FIGHT! Don't y'all think this shit has gone on long enough ???? No more begging . Let's go to demanding ! Think about what I wrote just now next time you lo...

Mine was pretty good, considering what's going on with me. For the first time in months, I picked up my accoustic and played a few tunes and formed those all-important callouses. Now I just have to keep it up, so I don't have to form them all over again. Worked on The Ride about 30 hours this week. On the phone, on the net gettin' them sponsors signed up. Still looking for a C2C R2C web domain/site, but so many good things have been happening for us, I can't but believe that a website will be happening soon. Been e-mailing back and forth with my friend Bill in Scotland (who, incidentally co-adminsters WTB? with me to keep me straight and not get goofy with the passwords and username as I did a few months back), and I'm really fortunate to have him as my "computer guru". Matter of fact, Bill sent me the following picture.(Supposedly of me taking my latest documentary evidence to my local Social Security office): So.... I wish y'all a great weekend - su...

Click on the title link for the story..... So what is this guy's agenda ???? He isn't running for re-election, yet at every turn, he blocks the extension of unemployment and COBRA insurance benefits for millions! He speaks very cavalierly about missing a basketball game to be present to vote and then just as cavalierly dismisses those who could benefit most from his vote! John Stewart of The Daily Show said it best when he suggested this guy should be paged to a phone to get him the hell out of the room, so the vote could commence and PASS! So my question is: Is the senator mentally challenged or just a stubborn ass? Or worse, a "cry-baby" thumbing his nose at his party-members as he leaves office? " Naaa-Naa-Naa-Naa-Naaaa ! Guess I showed you guys! Now I'm taking my toys and [Cartman]screw you guyyys, I'm going hoewmm![/Cartman]" If he's mentally challenged, (and how would we know?), maybe we should reach out to him and invite him to visit www....

Click on the title link to read more about this. A couple of weeks ago, Suzette and Becks and now a friend of mine from SDMB, Oakminster, have sent me this link, and I have not mentioned it here until now for a number of reasons. Pretty much everyone who's been kind enough to send me this link has advised me to get in touch with my attorneys and tell them of it to see if they can expedite the approval of my SSDI. As I have mentioned before, I am represented by Binder&Binder, and as y'all may know, they don't get paid until I get approved, and although I have been told by them that if Social Security approves me without their help, they'll gladly "drop out", I can't imagine them contacting SS on my behalf and asking them to give me this approval without them being more "involved" in the appeals process. (Read that as they want that 25% which they'll get off the top of any back pay SSDI gives me, and it isn't to their advantage if I ge...

Okay, I alluded to this in a previous entry, but since we've now had two organizational meetings, I'll let the cat out of the bag (so to speak) officially. Two years ago, some of you may remember, I rode my bicycle 800 miles from Dallas TX back to Dallas, GA to support my (then) local humane society and the national Humane Society's "Spay, Neuter and Adopt" educational project. Well, I'm doing it again this year, in September, this time from Carrollton TX back here to Carrollton, GA (again about 800 miles). Y'all, I'm slowly going crazy (ier) just sitting here stagnating, and I have GOT to do something useful, and, as I can still pedal my bicycle, I'm going to do that. For the animals. Anyone who knows me, knows I am passionate about animal welfare, and since this could very well be the last time I can do this, I WANT to do it very badly, so I will. We'll be launching a website for The Carrollton To Carrollton Ride To Care soon. I'll let y...

Had a bad day with the shrink today. For some reason he decided to turn hostile when I couldn't answer some questions as to whether I thought the Namenda (or the recently added Aricept) were helping me. I was being as honest as possible when I told him I didn't know , because the short term memory loss is still a major problem, so if they were supposed to HELP that, then no. He had written the refills scrips for both meds, and then proceeded to tear them up. When I asked "what's going to happen if I suddenly stop taking them because I don't have refills he simply said, "I don't know", which to me meant "I don't care !" So fuck it, let's have some laughs. This is from the 80's, and is no longer really PC, but still funny as hell. Enjoy! Thanks Bill

People have always told me I have no "common sense". I don't take offense at this, because for the most part, I agree with them. What I do (or did) have, is a knack for having ideas and problem-solving. I accomplish this by looking at what needs to be done and then methodically applying the solution (s) until there's no longer a problem. Granted, I have never been good at doing this at a "split-second's" notice, but given enough time to do some research/detective work, I can usually come through. Lately, though, I have noticed a kind of "barrier", which is slowing me down a little. For example, last night D and I were talking about washing clothes and she was telling me about a new type of fabric softener "bar" (not sheet or liquid) which attaches to the side of the tub , and softens the clothes that way. For some reason ("reason", get it?) my mind locked onto the word "tub", and I kept "seeing" a bathtu...

Thanks Bill

For about two months now, due to some mistakes I made here with passwords and usernames and such, I have been unable to blog and communicate with y'all. Now, due to Becks and her Bill (in Scotland) I am once again able to publish, and in the next few days will catch you up on all things "Bud". In an earlier post (now in the archives), I started writing some of my memoirs (growing up in Germany, etc) and I plan on continuing this now that the blog is up and running again. While you wait (not long, promise), here's a little bit of musical "Bill Memorabilia": A resurrected tape of the first band I was ever in called The Watchmen. This tape is 46 years old and was in surprisingly good shape when we listened back to it after uploading it to YouTube. If you decide to listen, keep several things in mind: 1. It's a raw , live performance with mistakes 2. There will be places where there's a bad splice and where the music seems to drop out 3. The music isn...

Ol' Blue Eyes is back!!!!!!! Thanks, to my friend in Scotland, Bill and my friend Becks, for all your headaches and patience in dealing with me! Back soon! Bill

Hi all Posting here on behalf of Bill. Now write down your password and keep it in a safe place :-) DEB