One Month Later.....
Wow! Has it been a month already?
I haven't written anything because basically, I had nothing to say, plus I didn't feel like it.
I have to admit to a certain amout of "post-ride depression" now that my bicycle ride for the animals is finished and there's nothing to plan, nothing to train for and I haven't been on the bike since I got back from Texas.
In the last entry I told you about my new doctor who doubled up on my Welbutrin and recommended we try ECT if that didn't work.
Well, Becks suggested I read up on the electro-convulsive therapy and its benefits and risks, so I went to the college library and there, sitting in the "New Arrivals" rack was the book, "Doctors of Deception: What They Don't Want You to Know About Shock Treatment" by Linda Andre (herself a former ECT patient).
To put it bluntly, what I read scared the hell out of me and it's a good thing the double dose of Welbutrin is working, because no way am I going to let anyone anesthetize me and shock my brain to get rid of my depression.
You know what the most important two things I got from reading her book?
1. No one knows why it works - it just does. There's no medical documentation at all why it's "effective" - just that it is.
2. It erases memories. Oh. My. God. I live my life on my memories and I have some very good ones - especially at this time of year (heading into the holidays). Why would I want a chunk (no matter how large) of what I remember taken away from me?
Okay, now what?
Well, I ain't doin' the ECT is one thing. But the other thing is that I have always been as fair a person as I can be, so I'm going to read the "other side's" version of ECT and why it's beneficial, and I'll let y'all know what I found out.
But how'm I doing?
Oh, okay I guess. D has noticed some improvement in my demeanor, i.e., I don't let little things (like dropping the razor, bumping into things and other general clumsiness) upset me anymore. I'm more focused and pay attention to things like our finances, washing the clothes and other general household stuff. I have my own checking account (my small pension goes into it) and I watch it like a hawk, so that's a good thing, but......
.......we've both noticed this: I will have an idea that I want to do something such as check e-mail on the computer and by the time I get to it, I don't want to do it anymore. Playing my guitars - same thing. I'll get one out of its case and then put it right back. Don't know exactly how this has happened, but it has.
Almost forgot: Sunday (yesterday) I went to an organ recital at UWG (University of West Georgia, my alma mater) and thoroughly enjoyed myself. There are a few more free concerts coming up the next few days and I'd like to go to those as well. (D doesn't like that kinda stuff, so I go alone).
Today, I started walk-jogging, and I plan to alternate this with cycling, so I'll get out in the fresh air more - something I have not been doing much of since the end of the ride.
Okay. I guess that gets us up to date. Thanks for reading and please remember to click the icon below to feed the animals and ask your friends to do the same.
Thank you
Bill
I haven't written anything because basically, I had nothing to say, plus I didn't feel like it.
I have to admit to a certain amout of "post-ride depression" now that my bicycle ride for the animals is finished and there's nothing to plan, nothing to train for and I haven't been on the bike since I got back from Texas.
In the last entry I told you about my new doctor who doubled up on my Welbutrin and recommended we try ECT if that didn't work.
Well, Becks suggested I read up on the electro-convulsive therapy and its benefits and risks, so I went to the college library and there, sitting in the "New Arrivals" rack was the book, "Doctors of Deception: What They Don't Want You to Know About Shock Treatment" by Linda Andre (herself a former ECT patient).
To put it bluntly, what I read scared the hell out of me and it's a good thing the double dose of Welbutrin is working, because no way am I going to let anyone anesthetize me and shock my brain to get rid of my depression.
You know what the most important two things I got from reading her book?
1. No one knows why it works - it just does. There's no medical documentation at all why it's "effective" - just that it is.
2. It erases memories. Oh. My. God. I live my life on my memories and I have some very good ones - especially at this time of year (heading into the holidays). Why would I want a chunk (no matter how large) of what I remember taken away from me?
Okay, now what?
Well, I ain't doin' the ECT is one thing. But the other thing is that I have always been as fair a person as I can be, so I'm going to read the "other side's" version of ECT and why it's beneficial, and I'll let y'all know what I found out.
But how'm I doing?
Oh, okay I guess. D has noticed some improvement in my demeanor, i.e., I don't let little things (like dropping the razor, bumping into things and other general clumsiness) upset me anymore. I'm more focused and pay attention to things like our finances, washing the clothes and other general household stuff. I have my own checking account (my small pension goes into it) and I watch it like a hawk, so that's a good thing, but......
.......we've both noticed this: I will have an idea that I want to do something such as check e-mail on the computer and by the time I get to it, I don't want to do it anymore. Playing my guitars - same thing. I'll get one out of its case and then put it right back. Don't know exactly how this has happened, but it has.
Almost forgot: Sunday (yesterday) I went to an organ recital at UWG (University of West Georgia, my alma mater) and thoroughly enjoyed myself. There are a few more free concerts coming up the next few days and I'd like to go to those as well. (D doesn't like that kinda stuff, so I go alone).
Today, I started walk-jogging, and I plan to alternate this with cycling, so I'll get out in the fresh air more - something I have not been doing much of since the end of the ride.
Okay. I guess that gets us up to date. Thanks for reading and please remember to click the icon below to feed the animals and ask your friends to do the same.
Thank you
Bill
Comments
Glad you researched about getting zapped, I've also heard and read good and bad, as with all things needs your personal decision.
Anyway, sounds like your hangin in there like the rest of us and doin your best.
Lova ya, Becks