Wednesday, December 31, 2014

"I Love You, Mom." ------ "We Love You Too, Bill"

That was my mother. She never once came right out and told me she loved me, and when I'd try to "cue" her (like in the title line above), she'd come out with that answer.

"What's this 'we' shit?" I used to think to myself, but I took what I could get. Bless her heart, she was bipolar as hell, and my brother and I were just grateful when she'd have one of her "good days".

My mother was also my patient and died with me taking care of her on a ventilator. There was no one else to work for me, and what the heck, I'd be there anyway, so why not be there for her as well as my other patients. Same for my Dad, who died a couple of years before her. He was my patient, too. Yeah, it was hard seeing them both die right in front of me like that, but I think they were both proud of me as well, so I really don't have too much to bitch about, do I?

Am I bipolar? I don't know -- never been diagnosed and now I'm on so many meds, that even if I were, it might not even show up. In short, all things considered, I'm a "Happy Boy!"

So now that I'm 65, (yup, my birthday's today, thank you!) I've given a lot of consideration to dying. If I stay physically healthy, maybe I'll have 10 more good years, but (again) all things considered, it hasn't been such a bad life for "The German Boy". Looking back, I've done a lot of good for some folks and a lot of animals. Loved a lot of women (more than I should have, probably; especially that last one. I'll probably see her in Hell - HAHA!), played a lot of music, helped some folks feel better, skydived (bucket list) and remarried my first love, Dondra. All in all, not so bad a life.

And to think, I used to be afraid of dying. Now I think I know what that's all about: You just come to terms with what you've done, not done; whom you may have hurt and loved and then you say to yourself, "Well, ol' boy, you did the best you could", and close those baby blues for the last time.

And no, I'm not going to hurt myself or take my own life. Just not afraid of dying anymore. Well, let me amend  that just a bit: I'd rather die easy rather than suddenly and/or painfully. What's that old song, "Live fast, die young and leave a good-lookin' corpse"?

Before I forget, let's go back to the "I love you, Mom/Dad/Brother/Sister, etc. etc". Paul McCartney says if you love someone tell them now; don't wait till they're vegged out or dead already. It's not a matter of being too "macho" to say it. If you feel it honestly, then let them know and look them in the eye when you do say it. Don't do like my Dad, and say something like, "I told you 50 years ago I loved you. If anything changes, I'll let you know!" That said, I know he loved my mother, my brother and me, but other than when he was drunk I never heard him say it to me.

I wish you all a great 2015 and what the hell ---- I love you ----- even though I don't know so many of you and one or two of you actually hate my German ass, but we'll discuss that another time. Take care of yourselves, try not to hurt anybody, don't worry so much about things you can't help, forget about New Year's Resolutions and be good to the four-footed ones. Especially them and you can do that by clicking on the icon I'm leaving for you at the bottom of the page.

See ya'!

Bill
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Tuesday, December 23, 2014

Happy Holidays

And may the New Year suck less than this one.

You don't need me to tell you that, do you? I mean: in 2014 the bad outweighed the good by at least 75% in my humble opinion. That's both in my life and the world in general.

Being that we're all human and have this strong desire to live and the wish and will to survive, we'll keep on "fighting the good fight" and try to help others as best we can. And I think that is just fine. Sometimes we get wrapped up in our own problems so much that we forget our neighbor down the road facing a much worse fate than you or I.

But don't ever say or think, "Well, things can't get worse!" You say that or think it, you'll be surprised how quick things can go down the drain. Not telling you what to do, of course - just telling you to think healthy thoughts, not impossible ones.

Myself, I'm neither an optimist nor a pessimist. I am a REALIST!

Y'all know the definition of an optimist, don't ya?

An optimist is someone who thinks you can pick up a turd by the clean end!
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Before I close out the year of my blog, I wanted to give you some good news.

You know the "Feed The Animals" icon at the bottom of the page I ask you to click whenever you visit me here? Every time you did, you helped some shelter pet get 1.5 bowls of food and so far in 2014 the total is 36.0 metric tons or 79,389 pounds. Thanks for clicking and please try to do it daily.

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Thanks for visiting and see you next year! ======================================= ======================================= The Animal Rescue Site