Saturday, October 31, 2009

Saved THIS One Just For Today


Please drive carefully tonight and watch out for the little ghouls and ghosts as they go in search of sustenance!

In town, less than 10 mph has always worked for me!

Also please watch out for any little "four-footers" who might be along and accidently get in your way!

Remember, they need your help to eat, and Paulding Humane needs your vote!

Just click on the link.....

The Animal Rescue Site

And once again, "The Mahster Mohnsta"

Happy Halloween To ALL our DOPER/DOMER and other sweet friends, from

Bill, Dondra and "Bert"!

Friday, October 30, 2009

Pot Pourri Day

Well, it's been a hectic and disappointing week, but one perseveres as best one can, yes?

1. We don't qualify for food stamps, because D and I make too much a month. Never mind that we both have medical expenses out the ying-yang (which is located near the "ol wazoo", remember?) a car payment, my COBRA insurance, gas, car insurance, groceries and rent and related living expenses, our combined income is over the 1500.00 a month limit so we don't qualify.

2. Filled out the Bankruptcy papers this week and paid the lawyers. This was something that really shook me up emotionally. Last year at this time, my credit score was in the high 700's. Today it's in the low 400's, and in a few months, it will be 0, I reckon. Friends and family have been most supportive (especially The Dopers, who helped with the funds for said Bankruptcy and so many other things,), but ya know? It still hurts when you buy stuff, make all the monthly payments and then suddenly stiff your creditors.

Yeah, yeah, I know these are tough times, and I'm not the only one doing it, but still....

3. Still can't ride the Trek because of that damn swollen left ankle which is still causing a slight limp, but at least I'm mobile (if not "upwardly" so).

4. Still busy scouring the net and hopeful that Congress will pull their heads out of their collected asses and get some kind of health care reform going soon, because my COBRA runs out at the end of the year at the lower cost and then jumps 300% higher, and private insurance (with its very high deductible) isn't much better.

5. Speaking of the net. I have received some Friend requests from my fellow cycling buddies and have added you, thanks. I'm not much into the social networking thing, but it's nice to be thought about.

6. Still spend a lot of time playing World of Warcraft (the only pleasure I allow myself due to the generosity of aruvqan and also due to someone's anonymous generosity, am playing it on the largest monitor I have ever had. Thanks "secret friend".

Here's the latest picture of my toon Alliance Warrior Wolkenlaufre ("Wolkie") and his mount Silka.

So that sorta catches y'all up on things for now.

Gettin' close to All Hallow's Eve and the Trick or Treaters coming by for candy tomorrow. I was 13 when I realized I was too old to go running around as Batman in gray long johns and the cape and mask my Mom made me.

Here it is again, in a funkier version of the original:

(Be sure to do that crazy "finger-eye sweep" as you're dancing to it, okay?

Have a great weekend and don't forget to click to feed and vote for Paulding Humane Society!

The Animal Rescue Site



Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Lack Of Reasoning Or Naivete'?

In my last entry, I told y'all about Angel Food Ministries and how for $28.00 ($30.00 if ordered online) I could eat 3 prepared meals a day for a month, right?

Riiiiiiight, Dude!

Now come on!

90 meals for only $28.00?????

The box has 10 prepared, frozen meals, Bill, you "Shankipottamus"!

Do you see what's happening here?

I am not thinking things through!

Here's something else:

After D and I first divorced, I was living pretty much on the cheap, so I decided to start clipping coupons?

I was a clippin' MoFo too, Dude!

That first Sunday, I clipped every damn coupon I could find, and the next day went to the supermarket, loaded up the buggy, got in line, and after the cashier totalled the order, I handed her a fistful of coupons with a big ol' grin!

Well, she starts scanning them and then stops and asks me "where's the stuff these coupons are good for?"


"Well, I thought I clipped the coupons out of the paper, hand them to you and you'd take the value and subtract it from the total?"

After I said that, you coulda heard a pin drop, and then one of the ladies behind me started to giggle, came around, took my hand, looked at that white circle on my ring finger, and asked, "How long you been on your own, Hon?", and then the whole line went nuts with laughter, while I just stood there looking like I'd just got off the bus.

Apparently, the manufacturers like for you to actually buy the products that relate to those coupons.

I also once bought Erica Jong's Fear of Flying, and gave it to an elderly lady school teacher friend (who was about to take her very first airplane trip) as a Bon Voyage present, thinking it was one of those "Self-Help" books.

Told D about it, and she said, "you didn't!", and then explained to me what I had given to this very dear old lady, who sent me me a "thank you" note when she returned.

So you tell me: Stupid, naive, or what?

Here's one of those "spooky story songs" about the "Carroll County Accident". I don't think this happened here in our Carroll County, unless maybe I was that "accident", after landing here in 1960!

The Animal Rescue Site



Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Why In Der Frigg Can't I Catch A Break, Dude?

This afternoon I had an appointment with my Orthopaedist.

Well, lah-dee-frickin'-dah! When did that job description pick up an extra a????

So next week I have an appointment with my Daentist.

("Hey! Let's go with the Greek spelling and FVck 'em out of some more bucks, Biggus Dickus! Y'ont to????")

No, that's not what I'm Bastarding (got to give us guys equal time, Bitches! Juuuuuuust kidding, Honey!) about, y'all.

What's frosting my balls is the fact that today, my Orthopaeeeeeeedist decided I needed a "brace" for my ankle.

Not a cast, mind you; just a "brace" made of: Nylon, Velcro, a cotton "sock" (cut off a thing that looks like toilet paper), and a shoe string.

Now before I ask you what you think that "brace" cost me, just take a minute and look at the "ingredients" (Nylon, Velcro, Cotton, Shoe String)

One hundred and thirty nine dollars.


One-thirty nine.

Sounds really cheap when you put it in those terms, don't it?

Guess what?

How many times do you think that piece of shit brace has been marked up, and how much do you think the "ingredients" to make it, cost?

I don't have to paint you a picture, but I thought that bringing it down to its lowest "common denominator" (us) might make it more "real" for y'all.

This is what is happening! THIS is REALITY!


Yeah, we're living longer, thank you, but now what?

Don't know what to do with us, do ya?

Gonna sit back and watch with great interest how this whole frickin' thing winds up.

The little 4-footed ones were here before we were and will be here long after we're gone.

Please don't make 'em suffer and die through no fault of their own, and please never forget it was them who helped us survive and evolve?

Yeah, we had the "brains", but they have served us and sustained us and we pay them back by burning them and their young to death.

Way to go, Homo Sapiens!

The Animal Rescue Site

Monday, October 26, 2009

Update On Being "Proactive"

My COBRA insurance (heretofore affordable at 139.00 a month) runs out at the end of December (after that it's $380.00 a month!), so today D and I picked up applications for Medicaid (for me) and food stamps.

We'll be turning those in tomorrow.

In addition, I checked with Consumer Credit Counselling Service in Atlanta (you have to, before filing for bankruptcy) and they referred me to Angelfood Ministries. (Click on the title of this blog entry to go there).

This is a place where you can order prepared meals (3 a day) for a fraction of what you'd pay at the grocery store. I qualify for the senior citizen package which only costs 30.00 ordered online.

The good news about Angelfood is that ANYONE can take advantage of this service. You don't have to be poor, demented and delapidated like me.

The food stamps, Medicaid and Angelfood will go a long way in taking some of the financial burden off my wife. This way she won't have to worry about fixing me anything to eat (you just heat them up and eat 'em), buying food for me. and hopefully (with the Medicaid) not having to buy my meds/pay my doctor bills.

So now we wait. On all the approvals and/or denials.

As you know, I am used to helping not needing help, so this all has cost me a lot of pride and self-esteem.

Everyone has been very supportive and encouraging, but I mean damn!, it really sucks to be me, I reckon.

This one's gonna "creep you out" a bit. It's a song by a group called Bloodrock, and in addition to the warning you saw when you entered the blog, I am issuing ANOTHER one. This version is the least graphic I found, but the words might get to you a bit. Just keep in mind it's for Halloween, when we ALL get a little "creepy".

The Animal Rescue Site

Thanks for clicking to feed and voting for Paulding Humane in the Shelter Challenge!


Sunday, October 25, 2009

I Think We're "Closing In" On Halloween, Y'all!

So first, here's a picture of "The German Boy" after his sleep study!

Puffy eyes, no make-up, no lipstick, no eye-shadow, hair all matted-up, but I had some GREAT dreams. *LOL*

We'll know the results in two weeks, but my Polysomnographer told me I entered into "severe apneic territory" several times during the night!

Pulmonary Oxyen Saturation dropped to 72% at one time. (Normal for me is 92-96% or greater). 72% is heading toward respiratory arrest.

So this is the latest I am doing about this!

I still have so much to give!

Okay Eff all of that shit! Just help me take care of feeding the 4-footers, please?

The Animal Rescue Site

Remember to click to feed and vote for Paulding Humane! They were the first animal welfare group I became associated with and they are near and dear to me.



Saturday, October 24, 2009

Sleep Study Tonight

Gonna see how much of my depression/dementia may be due to sleep apnea.

Gotta be hooked up to some wires and monitored all night.

I'll be back Sunday night and let you know how it went.

"Fixin'" to walk out the door.

Don't forget to click to feed and vote for Paulding Humane Society! We have people from all over the world helping with this, so please remind your friends, okay?



The Animal Rescue Site

Thursday, October 22, 2009

Skipping Ahead A Bit In The Memoirs

This is part of something I wrote on another message board with some editing, okay?

My very good friend on the Dope, Oakminster, brought this to mind when he shared this in a thread of mine called "Your Favorite Commercials".

Okay, I have already mentioned that my American soldier Dad brought me and my German Mom and brother to the US in 1960.

At that time, I still spoke with a very heavy German accent and did my best to try to fit in.

One of the ways was to "go out" for "Midget Football" and it was my first encounter with who would prove to be an inspiration to me and I am sure many others: Coach Roger Sauls who passed away last year.

Coach was very patient with me, teaching me the "ins and outs" of throwing and kicking that strange looking egg-shaped ball!

In those days, a lot of little boys went out for it and we all had our heroes on the Villa Rica Wildcats Varsity team. A couple of mine were John "Shaky" Smith, "Tiny" Cole, and Larry "Legs" Butler (who later became a cousin-in-law), and boy, didn't we wait for them to come out of the locker room and follow them as far to the field as we were allowed to go? I can still hear those cleats on the pavement and feel the crisp night air and hear the sounds of the band playing "Mr. Touchdown", as the guys clattered down the steps of the stadium which was at that time located behind Villa Rica Elementary School.

For a little kid just off the plane from Germany, that was a whole new experience, and so I too went out for the Midget Wildcat team and started practicing. Didn't make the backfield, but Coach found me a place on the line as a Tackle.

We practiced all summer long, and I struggled with the language, the rules of the game, and tried real hard to fit in. It wasn't always easy, and I had the first of what would be many broken noses in those days!

Well, school started and time came for jerseys. There were always more kids than there were jerseys, and we all knew that some of us might not get one, or if we did that we might have to take it off during the game and share it with another kid Coach might send in to play, but we all really wanted one because we knew it meant we'd be playing "first string"!

Well, names were called out and jerseys started flying out of boxes into the hands of some happy little boys, and because I knew I had had problems with the language and the rules, I also knew I'd have to share a jersey if I played, and as the boxes began to empty, I drifted to the back of the crowd, and prepared myself for the disappointment.

And that's when my jersey hit me in the back of the head.

I turned around and saw Coach look at me and wink.

And that's what I remember about Roger Sauls.


You had to know this was coming, right?

Can't do it without you. Please click to feed and vote!

The Animal Rescue Site



Wednesday, October 21, 2009

"Away From My Desk" For A Few Days

If you don't see a blog entry for a while, don't be concerned, okay?

I have a lot of things I need to take care of this week which entails lots of paperwork and research.

I hope to be back Sunday night.




Please don't forget to click and vote, and ask your friends to do the same!

Thanks again!

The Animal Rescue Site

Monday, October 19, 2009

My Eyes! My Eyes!

They're still very infected and I am still having to keep antibiotic ceam on the bottom inner and top inner eyelids, so I can't sit at the computer for very long.

Back soon!



The Animal Rescue Site

Friday, October 16, 2009


Okay, back from exam number two.

Again, a very friendly doc (we actually attended West Georgia College at the same time!) who asked all the right questions and (I hope) got all the right answers.

The exam, however, was very cursory: No blood work, no "snap" of that rubber glove, and no Bill (in a falsetto voice) yelling, "Oh.My.Gawd! Are you gonna stick that big ol' thing in MEEEE?"

I was actually looking forward to doing that, but maybe it's good that it didn't happen, because they might have thrown me out on my ass if it had.

One thing that did happen was an x-ray of my arthritic right hand. Specifically the right middle finger which will just not bend, and which, if I still drove, would have served me well in traffic!

I had forgotten that I mentioned that in my history, but apparently someone thought it was significant, and by golly, it is!

When I worked as a respiratory therapist, it was one of my jobs to manually resuscitate a patient in an emergent situation (this is known as "bagging" someone), and it was getting increasingly difficult to do, given that my right is my dominant hand, and I remember not doing as well with my left.

Okay, so they took 3 shots of my hand to add to my chart/dossier/application.

Y'all, during this whole week, I have slept maybe 4 hours total, and right now, not only am I losing altitude; I am in a friggin tailspin!

I have alternately laughed (trying to make the best of it all) and cried (wondering if I am going to be able to help my sweet wife to keep our little family together as long as I can function) and wondered to myself: "WTF???? The meds are supposed to keep this from happening!"

So, in keeping with my philosophy of keeping this blog honest, I have to tell you that right now I have the mother of all eye-infections. Every time I blink my eyes, there's so much "eye-snot" that I have to pry the lids open with my fingers.

Loss of sleep? Bawling like a baby, or just allergies?

I don't know. I'm just glad to have "phase one" behind me, and hope to be strong enough to face two or three, if needed.

The "Waiting Game" begins. Thanks for being here and hanging in there with me!

Thanks to everyone for still remembering the four-footed ones.

The Animal Rescue Site

This is a rarely heard tune. Little Willie John......



Thursday, October 15, 2009

One Down, One To Go!

Today was my psych exam, and the preliminary diagnosis was, "Your'e crazier than a shit-house rat!"

Just kidding! (thanks for the image, Becks!)

The testing today was almost the same as the one in August except this time D was there and had to fill out a questionnaire (in a separate room), but was in the room for the "history" of all of this, so if I got something "wrong" she would correct me.

However, I'm just as drained now as I was that first time.

Also, I expected hostility, but didn't experience any of that at all. My psychiatrist and test administrator were very pleasant and fair in their questioning and paused when I couldn't remember something or got "choked up" and couldn't speak.

I'm going to keep this one "short and sweet", but I wanted to thank my friend and "teacher", Ms. Becks for the homework assignment of documenting the hell out of "what a long strange trip it's been". It helped a lot that my examiners didn't come into the whole exam thing "cold".

More to come Friday evening.......

Please click to feed and vote for Paulding Humane!



The Animal Rescue Site

Saturday, October 10, 2009

No '"Home For the Holidays" For The "German Boy" This Year......

....but here's a "taste" of what it might have been like on the way to my beloved Rothenburg ob der Tauber. The last time I was home I had my rental Mercedes up to 125 mph on the Autobahn, and I was screaming like I did the first time I went sky-diving.

Apparently, though? I was still driving too slow for my fellow countrymen/women, 'cause they were coming up behind me in the left lane, honking their horns for me to get my sorry ass over!!!!!!!!!!!!

Demm Krazzy Churmans!

You are watching KRAFTWERK, the PIONEERS of "Techno-Pop"
and you will see much more German "Techno" to come. Especially at Halloween!

The Animal Rescue Site

Please remember them!



Friday, October 9, 2009

A Jukebox Classic

Click on the title to see this cute video from Mogipbob!

Y'all have a great weekend!

The Animal Rescue Site

Da Murph and a guest at his 5th Birthday party!

Remember to click to feed and vote!



Wednesday, October 7, 2009

So.... Y'all Had Enough Of Me Yet?

If not, there's more "juicy tid-bits" to come!


Because I promised it to my friend "Becks", here is how D and I met.......

After I did my "tour of duty" at Pine Knoll Nursing Home, I finally got "invited" to apply at Tanner Memorial Hospital!

My first area as an "orderly" was at "DESK ONE" (where D worked as a nurse).

Try as I might, I could NOT get a smile out of this woman!

Yes, I was drawn to her, yes, she was pretty, but would she give me the time of day???

What do y'all think?

NO would be the correct answer.

So I had to get to work.

I had to conquer this woman, if that's the last thing I did!

Ya know what did it?


A '65 Pontiac GTO!

When I saw D in that car, I knew she was my "dream-babe", so I went to work on her, and told her all of my corny jokes, rubbed up against her suggestively, and pretty soon we had us a date and that little GTO just purred right along while her windshield just "clouded up"!

Remember the "four-footed ones? PLEASE to click to feed and vote for Paulding Humane!

The Animal Rescue Site

DA "Murph"! On him's 5th Birthday!

Sunday, October 4, 2009

"HAIR" Today, And HERE Tomorrow!

This evening, couretsy of my niece Lisa, one of the stage managers at 7 Stages Theatre in Little Five Points (a "hip" suburb of Atlanta), D and I were treated to a live performance of the musical "Hair".

It was special because this is the first real night out together we have had since we got re-married, and we really enjoyed ourselves.

I didn't know how D would react to the nude scene (it was her first time seeing it performed live), but she handled it well. (I must be "corrupting" her a little). When the actors removed their clothing, it was done very tastefully. Not one of them cracked a smile or flaunted anything, and if you're familiar with what takes place within the play itself, that was not a time for frivolity.

At the end ("Let The Sunshine In") everyone in the audience was invited on stage to dance with the actors, but because my leg is still in this damn "space boot", I had trouble even navigating the stairs to get to and from our seats, so I opted not to join them.

The play itself made me nostalgic, but watching the band, I realized how much I miss playing my drums. The drummer's parts were mostly rhythms I played in the 60's, 70's and 80's and I could easily imagine myself playing with that band!

On to other things....

I have an appointment with 2 Social Security Docs - one an MD and the other a psychiatrist on the 15th and 16th respectively. Since it's on Soc Sec's "dime", AND since they require it, I guess I better go!

Note to Becks: Saw you joined us "Dopers". WELCOME! We're the biggest dysfunctional "family" in the world!

This is a picture of Suzette's (my dementia counsellor) Bill. Yes, Virginia, she has one too. Didn't y'all know that all next door neighbors, ex-husbands, bartenders and uncles are named "Bill"? I don't know if her Bill IS any of those, but here he is with Murphy and Friend at last years "Memory Walk" for Alzheimer's Research. All three would like you to remember to sponsor a walk team and also to click and feed the animals as well as vote for Paulding Humane in The Shelter Challenge!

The Animal Rescue Site

This is from "Hair". It's called 3-5-0-0, and it's about the Viet Nam "War", but it could also be about the one in Iraq and Afghanistan. They're all "Dirty Little Wars"!



Oh, my God, OMG! OH. MY. GOD!

My D isn't as "prim and proper" as I thought!

She must have watched the nude scene VERY closely, because she just now told me that that guy who played "Berger" was....... "well-endowed".

She ain't never told ME that. :(

Friday, October 2, 2009

How D. And I Met: 40 Years Ago

Special Request by Becks

I'm getting ahead of myself with this "memoirs" thing, but what the hell!

I graduated from Villa Rica High School (Villa Rica, Georgia) in 1968 and having achieved "instant popularity" as the drummer in "The Watchmen", I was full of "piss and vinegar". (I told y'all I was arrogant, right? Well, keep that in mind as you read what is to follow).

My Dad had had just about enough of me running up his gasoline bill at Harold Smith's service station in downtown Villa Rica, and decided that, by God, I had better find some work!

This was around '69, I think, and I had some friends who worked as "orderlies" at what was then known as Tanner Memorial Hospital.

Anyone remember what "orderlies" are and what we did?

Only thing was, you couldn't just go "right to work" as an orderly. They needed you to start at the "bottom rung of the ladder", and then they'd talk to you about working at Tanner.

What was the bottom rung of the ladder?

You went to work at Pine Knoll Nursing Home as their orderly.

(Y'all are remembering the arrogant "German Boy"?, right?)

So I went to school at West Georgia College in the mornings, and worked 3-11 at Pine Knoll in the evenings.

There we were, me and just one other guy, Byron Jones, and our job was to give baths, clean up our male patients who had soiled themselves, change their beds if needed, get them out of bed and put them back in bed at the end of the day.

We also measured and emptied their catheter bags, re-inserted new catheters, and gave enemas when they became constipated (which was often, especially if they were para or quadriplegic) and if that was the case, we had to lift them out of the bed and then lift them out of the wheel chair and put them back into bed.

Do I need to tell you that at the end of that first day I was ready, right then, to go to Viet Nam? ANYTHING was better than "lowering" myself to THAT level!

But my Dad wouldn't hear of it, so I went the next day with every muscle screaming for relief.

I don't know how I made it through that first week! I puked, I cussed, I sweated and I swore to God if He'd get me out of this, I'd go to church every Sunday and Prayer Meetings on Wednesdays, but I guess God (and Dad) weren't having any of those promises, so I went back the second week.

What was minimum wage back in '69? I forgot, but that's all I made.

So I worked all week and played my drums on Friday (after work!) and Saturday nights.
My only off day was Sunday, and I spent most of that in bed.

I got to know some of my patients very well.

There was Gene, who liked to drink his own piss out of his urinal and would cackle like a hyena when I couldn't get to him in time, and there was Captain Robert McKay, who had both his legs shot off in Korea, and needed to talk.

He happened to be Gene's roommate, and hated being in the same room, but there was nothing we could do at the time: The place was full and Gene was the least demented of all the males who were there!

I still remember what Capt. McKay told me one day about about Gene: "There ain't a damn thing in this room he ain't pissed or shit on, Bill!"

Whenever I could spare a few minutes, I would sit and talk to Capt. McKay, and I hope it helped some. He died while I was still employed there, but he left an indelible impression on me.

I'm going to stop here and continue this next time, but y'all needed to know this about me to know the story about how D and I met.

This was Capt. McKay's favorite song and he used to like it played for him at the end of his day....

"Da Murph":

"Don't forget to click to feed and vote!"

The Animal Rescue Site

Thanks, and have a great weekend!