Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Let's Talk About.....Pseudodementia!

Click on the title and read, okay?

At first, it might seem very "clinical" to you, but just keep scrolling down till you get to the symptoms/characteristics, and read them one by one.

I am in every one of those, and I am being told by neurologist, that I don't "fit" the "Alzheimer's Pattern", but that my depression is so severe, it's affecting my memory.

My doctor tells me that's "good news" because it's treatable.

With what?

I'm already "topped out" with Welbutrin and Lamiktal, so what's next, Electroshock Therapy?

Nothing is working, and I am still doing stupid stuff. For example, I was told very plainly by D not to put her cotton tops in the dryer, but to hang them on clothes hangers, and what did I do?

Threw everything into the goddam dryer, and now her tops will only fit her Barbie dolls.

So I have this "pseudodementia", and now they want me to do the testing all over again: The MRI, the EEG and the neuro-psycho shit.

What the hell for?

I'm over it.

I am SO fuckin' over it.

Just cut my sorry ass loose.


Margaret said...

Hi Bill,

I find the news rather encouraging. You need a proper diagnosis and proper treatment. Even if you're already on tons of meds, it doesn't follow that those meds are treating what is actually the matter with you.

For what it's worth to you, I think you're pretty cool and very intelligent, so take good care of yourself, Bud, and stop putting yourself down. If it turns out that you don't have AD, I have the feeling that you will go on working to inform people about the disease.

P.S.: last week I threw my own favourite sweaters in the dryer and ruined them because I was thinking of other things at the time. Happens to everybody. Well, it happens to me more than to many others, but I've always been a dreamer.

P.P.S. Sorry I made this all about me: I'm really sad that you are so upset.

Anonymous said...

Oh mein lieber anderen Bill, your post has really upset me.

I ditto everything that Margaret has said, and please stop being so hard on yourself. You are, after all, only human. We get ill, make mistakes, lots of them, but we find a way to move on with the help of all those you deeply care about us.

Take a deep breath, a step back and let it all sink in for awhile, before making a decision on what to do next.

You've tuffed it out with many unfortunate circumstances in the past. You are strong and will get this all figured out.

Cotton tops are replaceable, YOU ARE NOT.

The Pseudodementia stuff is very enlightening for me. The thing that really stood out to me, is that, it IS treatable, which is a whole heck of a lot better than with AD, right? What if the next med is just the ticket?

So many thoughts, feelings and concerns are swirling through me right now.

Remember, it ain't over til the fat lady sings, and I ain't that fat yet.

With deep concern, Becks

Bill Craig said...

Hey, you two

Sorry if I upset you, I was just totally confused and angry at yesterday's events, and I made it all about ME, didn't I, while my SIL now has a tracheostomy, is hooked to the vent still, and everything is still very uncertain with her.

I'll update the blog a little later.

Thanks for your concern. I have another appointment with my PCP tomorrow for "physical" stuff, and then.....I don't know. Guess "we'll cross that bridge when we GET to it, Mary Jo"



peacesojourner said...

Hello Bill,

Have been reading your blog and it sounds as if you are under extreme stress.

1. Your s-i-l is very ill and you are worried sick about her.

2. You have to drive long distances to check on her - driving in traffic is stressful.

3. Your paperwork did not come back accepted for EOAD.

4. Government/insurance paperwork would drive anybody to distraction!

5. Your are forgetting more often (anyone under such stress would be subject to be disoriented and confused)

6. Go back to #3 - just maybe they are right - what good news this is!

7. Yes, there will be more aggravation (paperwork/applications/etc) until you get this all sorted out but I have a strong feeling that this might just have a good outcome for you.

8. Stay strong - we will keep praying for you and your sister-in-law.

9. Take a deep breath and please know that people care!

In peace. Lesley