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Showing posts from 2008

Guess Who's 59 Today?

Yes, those ARE The Beatles singing Happy Birthday to me! (And to you, if it's yours!) And here are my boys again...... Be sure to catch my main drummer man Ringo coolin' it! Love you guys! Bill

Right String? Wrong Yo-Yo?

Turn this one up a tad, too, okay? Ever felt like that? Like you're where you're supposed to be, but don't know what you're supposed to be doing there??? That's my life, and I feel like I am losing direction of it and the only thing that keeps me hanging on is that I think I am still of some use. So here's my New Year's wish for you from me and Harry: And Harry? "Keep The Change" HA! CIRCLE

Some Exciting Alzheimer News!

(Turn it up a notch! :)) Take a look: * http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2008/12/081224215704 *Thanks to my friend Tuckerfan on SDMB for that link! Okay - so we're still a ways away from curing this shitty disease, but it's heartening to know that research continues, right? Some personal issues: 1. A couple of days ago, while entering my adress on an on-line order form, I forgot where I live (the address. Couldn't come up with it to save my life). So what did I do? I went to my auto-pay bank site where I knew I had my rent payment entered and found my street name "Foster Avenue". "Foster" being a part of the name of the apartment complex I live in: Foster Place Apartments . Now, I have to pat myself on the back for knowing how to solve that little problem. See, I didn't just give up and ask my next door neighbor (who doesn't know about this), but I figured it out on my own! 2. Forgetting to take my meds. Tonight I forgot to put on my Exelon

Christmas 2008

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Well, what can I can I tell ya'? As planned, Julian spent Sunday through Wednesday with me, and I had a great time spoiling him rotten even before we celebrated Christmas on Wednesday the 23rd. His grandmother (my ex) was also there, and we had fun with the film Polar Express which we stopped for gift exchanges at the point where Santa awarded the "first gift of Christmas" and then resumed. Julian was the "gift-distributor" and we made some pictures - three of which are included here. I will post more at a later time. Picture 1 is Bill and Julian playing a Christmas carol on the new kid-sized guitar he got from me and Santa. Picture 2 is Julian with his stockie. Picture 3 is "Bob". Bob is a knight metal sculpture I saw listed on Craig'sList and just had to have , so Bob is my present to myself. One person was a no-show during this, my favorite time of year, but this was not totally unexpected since she took a hike (or should I say "left skid-m

Happy Holidays To ALL My Friends

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Beginning today, I want to take a break from the blogging to spend time with my grandson Julian, who is coming to spend the first part of the week with me. You met Julian in a prior blog entry entitled "Julian William Craig Loves Me......." (Please scroll down in the list to see his picture once more) Before I leave, I wanted to share with you how very much it has meant to me that y'all are following the blog and I hope it has been of some interest both with the personal insights into Alzheimer Disease and the information I have included. I feel very fortunate indeed to have friends such as you, many whom I don't know personally, but through www.alz.org , e-mails, this blog, and the message board The Straight Dope . Your words of encouragement and support have kept me strong and positive during what has been an interesting three months, to be sure. Yes, I was bitter, and yes I was in denial, but now I am at war with this disease and I very much plan to come out the vi

Beware Of Bogus Alzheimer Treatments

Yesterday I posted about stem cell research as a means of treating Alzheimer Disease. Today, I thought to myself, "Well, they tried it with cancer and AIDS, why not with AD?" http://health.usnews.com/articles/health/healthday/2008/12/03/bogus-stem-cell-therapies-sold-on-internet.html Take a look at this : http://tampabay.com/news/aging/article879333.ece Here you have a medical doctor treating her husband with coconut oil, and it seems to be working . So how do you know what will work for you, if you have AD? You don't. You put your faith in your neurologist and hope that what he prescribes you works long enough to tide you over until such time as a cure is found. I myself am using the coconut oil, but I cannot say for sure that it is working for me, and that means it may not work for everyone . My friend Tom, who also has Early Onset says it works, and that's great for Tom, but because I am still having "episodes" I cannot yet make that claim. Hell, even a p

What Was the Last Disease Cured?

Are you thinking polio in the late 1950's? If so, you're wrong. It's smallpox, and it has the distinction of being the first human infectious disease completely eradicated (according to the World Health Organization in 1979 ). The last known case being in Somalia in 1977. Polio, on the other hand, is still out there. As late as 2005, there were 105 confirmed cases discovered to have spread from Nigeria to the Sudan. This latest outbreak illustrates "the high risk posed to polio-free areas by the continuing epidemic in west and central Africa" (WER, 80 (1), 2005, p.2). But that's not my point. I am not a conspiracy theorist by any means, but doesn't it seem a little odd to you that in a century where we can create stem cells, isolate someone's DNA and clone animals, we can't seem to find a cure for not only Alzheimer Disease, but muscular dystrophy, MS and cancer???? And doesn't it irritate you just a little bit when you read something like t

Peter Pan Syndrome And Alzheimer Disease?

WHAT ??? Okay, this is going to take some 'splainin': See, a long time ago, I was being seen by a counsellor who told me I had "Peter Pan Syndrome", which is a pop-psychological term for men who have never grown up, and which describes me , kinda. My last significant other was many times heard to say, "You are such a baby!!!!!" Me: "That's not a term of endearment, is it?" Or: "That's so juvenile/childish!" Me: "Well, I was someone's child, ya know!" So that describes my behavior and my love for comic books, toy trains and computer games. It also explains why I get along so well with the kids I see in our ER: I just seem to be able to talk to them on their level, I guess. It also explains why I become "sullen" when I don't get my way. I hasten to add that PPS is not accepted medical terminology. It's just a coined phrase used to pigeonhole men like me (and I'm sure there are women who have th

The "Misunderstood" Snowball........

...... can turn into an avalanche in a heartbeat as it gathers momentum. What began as an innocent "Devil's Advocate" question on The Straight Dope turned ugly very quickly last night. Rather than write everything from my point of view, I prefer to link you to the debacle so that you may read for yourself what happened. This blog is about what's going on with me and I want it to reflect EVERYTHING in my life, "warts and all". Else, what's the point? Here you go, and the shit hits the fan at post #12 http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=497840 What is so frightening about that whole episode is that I was so sure I was right that I would have defended my position with whatever it took. What else is frightening is that this was an example of dementia , but it was seen as stupidity, and it saddens me that I apparently stepped on so many toes that my offer of letting another person evaluate the occurance (yes, she's a personal friend) was

Bill On The Drums (With Pictures) And Other Stuff

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Dear Friends, As y'all know, I recently sat in on drums during a concert featuring my friend Peter's band Time-Out , and here are a couple of photographs from that night. That's Peter in the middle with the Santa cap; to his right is Hubert - 1st lead guitar; to Peter's left is Detlef - 2nd lead guitar; way in the back is yours truly whom you cannot see because the seat is so low, but Guenther is the drummer who turned his sticks over to me. I included a picture from earlier that day so you could see me drumming. The song being played is "Knockin' On Heaven's Door" The "Other Stuff" Suzette from the Atlanta chapter of the Alzheimer's Association called me back today (as I knew she would - first impressions are rarely wrong) and informed me that there is an organization called Professional Organizers who will come into one's home and/or office and re-arrange it to be more effective and less-cluttered. I got in touch with Cheryl, of Al

HELLLLP, Suzette!!!!!!!!! :)

As I wrote in the previous entry, I was going to contact the Alzheimer's Association in Atlanta today, but before I picked up the phone, they called me! I spoke with Suzette before my lumbar puncture and she had told me at that time she would be back in touch, but what a great example of synchronicity that she called when I had a need! We spoke about my problems with coping, focusing, stuttering and forgetting, and she listened and heard me! By that, I mean she was supportive and already way ahead of me in the problem-solving department. I have worked with the public for a very long time and I can tell when someone is actually listening or when they're just waiting for their turn to talk with glazed over eyes. Even though we were on the phone I could tell Suzette was absorbing what she was hearing and that made me feel a whole lot better! She knows about this blog and plans to check in from time to time, and she has told me she'd work on getting someone to maybe come

Not A Good Day, Y'all :(

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This is my pal Bert, who always tries to help me have a GOOD day even though he drools like a toothless old man! Oh well, it's just "sugar" right?: Matter of fact, it was a BAD day. Enjoy the video! It made me feel better! The animals always do that for me! Woke up this afternoon, and started doing some stuff (the "Hell-Hole" is in a shambles, and that is highly unusual for me, because I never come back off vacation to a dirty apartment!)such as cleaning, picking up and washing. Because these days my cleaning chores have no rhyme or reason, I tend to jump from one thing to another and basically just move things around a bit with some stuff finding its way into the trash can where it may not need to be. Example: Recently I bought a new computer sound system which came with a $40 mail-in rebate as along as you send a copy of the invoice. Tore the invoice off the side of the box, laid it aside (or so I thought) to take to work with me later and then 5 minutes

Blog Changes and Other Stuff

Hey Y'all may have noticed the "adult-oriented" material bar in the gateway of the blog? I had it there before, but took it down thinking that this site would be visited by only adults anyway, but the more I thought about it, I decided that since my language tends to be a tad "salty", I need to give y'all a choice on whether to "come in" or not because I sure wouldn't want to offend anyone. So for now the bar is up, but if y'all feel like I don't need this "safeguard", then please let me know. There's also a new little feature that lets you "rate" the blog entry. Since I have no one to edit my stuff but me, it would be a big help if y'all could check one of the attributes of the blog that appeals to you. That ad box: Everytime it is clicked on by someone new GOOGLE pays the blogger 2 cents. That isn't a whole lot of money unless a whole lot of people click, but whatever comes in will go to support Alzheim

My First Clinical Trial Questionnaire And Other Stuff

In a previous blog entry, I mentioned the organization called forMemory and that I had sent them an e-mail asking to participate in their study. Well, that questionnaire was in yesterday's mail, so I brought it to work with me so I could fill it out, and I am glad that I have done so, because it revealed a few things about what is going on with me that I had not noticed before. I won't list all of them, but just the most imporatant ones. The questionnaire is bracketed thusly: DO YOU HAVE THIS SYMPTOM? Y/N, APPROXIMATE YEAR NOTICED, IS THE SYMPTOM SEVERE ENOUGH TO INTERFERE WITH DAILY LIFE? Y/N . One symptom I answered "yes" to (which we haven't discussed here) was "Getting lost", and I have for a very long time been "directionally challenged". For example, if I make a right turn at the wrong time, I often cannot visualize what I need to do to get back on track, and if I make a wrong turn and don't realize it until much later, well then, it

5 Pounds Of Shit In A 3 Pound Bag

Hey Y'all First of all hanks to Maggie and Valerie for being part of my "Nightmare", it's good to have you both along for the um..... RIDE ! :) Secondly, I am not sure what's causing the dehydration, weakness and sore legs, but I hope it's not the German beer I've been consuming, because I would hate to have to give that up. Not only have I been feeling weak, the headaches and neck-ache is back, and all I have wanted to do is lie as still in the bed as possible. Also been having night sweats so what's up widdat?????? One more night here in Germany and then in the morning at 11:55 is my flight back to Atlanta. Haven't missed any meds, so I am not really sure what's going on but the words up there in the title are very descriptive of how I am feeling. It may be the cold and wet weather I have been walking around in, which are affecting me, who knows? Anyway, looking forward to coming home seeing my grandson and getting the "Hell-Hole"

A Visit - Not A GOOD Visit, But A Visit.......

....... with my uncle in East Germany. We met at a restaurant, spent about an hour together and then he had to be driven back home. I was disappointed that I wasn't invited to his home, but I think I understand. I left by train an hour later and got back in at ten last night. One more night in Rothenburg and then to Frankfurt for some last minute shopping and then home on Thursday. Remember the Oprah e-mails suggesting she do a show on Early Onset Alzheimer's? I have now enlisted the help of thousands of Straight Dope Members to send e-mails to her as well, so maybe she will take the hint. The Straight Dope is a message board I have belonged to since 2000, and the people there are wonderful. How'm I doing? Okay I guess, but as I predicted, I am stutterign in German and also forgetting words thatz I should know. My friend Peter says the forgetting of words isn't too noticeable, because I do sometimes have to "fish" for them even in German, my first language.

Bill On The Drums

Great time, but I paid for it this morning! We played at one of those new "smoking clubs", which were formed so that folks could still go to a club and smoke while they drink (smoking in public places has been banned in Germany)and the smoke was so thick and my eyes were pouring tears that I was only able to make it through 3 songs before I had to go outside to recover. Stumbled in at 3 am this morning with a thick head and sore throat from all the smoke inhalation. My friend Peter now knows about the EOAD, and I guess it kinda took him aback a bit because I looked like the same Bill he saw a year ago, and he refused to believe that I even had dementia until I reminded him how very punctual I have always been with the birthday cards - sometimes even sending them before the birthday even was due. After giving him several other examples of what's going on, he finally relented and said something like, "But still, that's not an automatic death sentence, is it, Bill?

Hello From Rothenburg ob der Tauber And More About The Bracelet

I arrived last evening at 5:30, and although the trip was mostly uneventful, it did have some hiccups. Hiccup 1. Plane left out of Atlanta an hour and a half late 2. Missed a train stop in Würtzburg (I had fallen asleep) so I got off in Nürnberg and bought another ticket with reserved seat. 3. When I got on the train and found my seat, there were two young ladies sitting in that section. I came to the wrong conclusion that this was not my train, recovered my luggage on the other end of the car and proceeded to find the "right" train. A conductor assured me I had the right train and I should get my ass back on because they were about to pull out. So I went to what was my seat and it turns out that one of the young ladies had taken my seat hoping I wouldn't show up! So I showed her my ticket and she vacated the seat and went to sit on the platform in between the trains. "Billy-Bob", I said to myself, "You need and deserve a beer! So I told my

My Favorite Time Of Year

The Christkindl (Christmas) Markets are going on right now all over Germany, and especially in my beloved Rothenburg ob der Tauber (Clicking on the highlighted text will take you to the webcams overlooking the town square) I am a fan of Christmas and have been ever since I was a little boy. I love the traditions of a German Christmas: the markets, going to church on Christmas Eve, and on the return from the services, the exchange of gifts left under the tree by the "Christ Child". Yes, there is a Saint Nickolaus but it is the Christ-Child who brings the gifts. In a few hours from now, I'll be heading for home to be with family and friends for a "Pre-Christmas" vacation. I still have not decided what to tell my friends (my uncle will not be told), but I have this damn bracelet on my right wrist. Take it off when I get there, or leave it alone until someone notices, and then what? Jesus H, what a dilemma! Guess I'll just "play it by ear". ;) Some

The Bracelet

WOW! A major awakening when I put it on. It was like "Okay, you're accepting it now, you dummy!" So it's on my wrist as I am typing this and on the front is the Medic Alert symbol and on the back is stamped: Early Onset Alzheimer's Disease. HTN with a collect telephone number, my MedicAlert registration number, and at the top, a 1-800 number. All joking aside, I guess I'm glad I have the bracelet, although it feels like it weighs 50 pounds, y'all. But if it will help, I'll wear it gladly, and maybe after a while, it won't seem so heavy. This one is for all my friends. Thank you from the heart. Bill

The Alzheimer Bracelet Story Continued

Here's an update on the bracelet issue: 1. Called MedicAlert and joined their program. ($39.95 for the first year) Gave them all pertinent info: meds, doctor, next of kin notification, drug allergies etc. In return they will keep all info on file in case it is needed if someone finds me gone BOOGA-BOOGA and calls the number on said bracelet. 2. Bought the bracelet: ($19.95) 3. Paid for overnight shipping: ($21.00) Total cost: $80.90 As compared to $7.00 if I had been able to find one at a drugstore. When I questioned the lady about why the bracelets are not as available as, say, a diabetic's or hemophiliac's, she told me it was because they needed the information I had just given her about my disease. She could not explain why there were bracelets for Diabetics, Hemophiliacs, Cardiac Patients, etc. Could the reason be....... MONEY??? I don't know, y'all. I just wish there were a Jonas Salk for dementia! It's nice of you to visit me here. Please come back anytime

Julian William Craig Loves Me!

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And I love him . This is my 8 year old grandson, and he loves playing soccer. Unfortunately, Julian, (like his Dad) is hyperactive and this is controlled with Ritalin, so that he stays focused and does well in school. We (his parents and my ex) also have to be very careful about his sugar intake. Although he is a wonderful little boy, the drug he must take to control his hyperactivity also robs him of that "little boy" joy of living, and it's very rare that I see him smile and I have never heard him laugh. (I don't know how he would take to being tickled. What do y'all think? Should I try?) In this entry I also wanted to ask your opinion about the blog in general. Is it okay? Are there things you would rather not read about? Am I whining too much? Should I stop the music? What improvements could I make? This video is for my Julian, please be patient as it loads. Thanks! Bill

NO Pre-Engraved AD Bracelets Available and HA-HA!

Because my friends on alz.org agreed I needed to identify myself as an EOAD patient during my vacation which begins later this week, today I made it my mission to find a MedicAlert bracelet with the words Alzheimer's Disease engraved upon it. Now before I get to my rant, I need for you to know that there are many pre-engraved MedicAlert bracelets available, such as Diabetic Hemophiliac , Heart Disease and even Contact Lens Wearer , to name just a few. Thinking that surely there would be a pre-engraved bracelet for me I visited 7 pharmacies this afternoon, and of the 2 that even had pre-engraved bracelets, AD was not among them. The closest I was able to get was a bracelet which was engraved with just the word Memory , which I suppose might make someone think I was a member of the Broadway troupe of Cats , and if asked, might favor anyone with that particular tune. ;) So here's my rant, and the stats to support it: • As many as 5.2 million people in the United States are liv

My First Alzheimer Dream

Today I had the first dream during which I had to explain that I have Alzheimer Related Dementia. Here's the setting: Went in for a haircut, and as the young lady began cutting it, I suddenly found myself in another area of the mall, wondering what I what I was doing there looking for speaker wire (for a surround-sound system I just ordered for my computer in "real life"). So I said to my self "OMG!" and went back to the barber shop where I found another lady waiting beside my chair. As she resumed cutting my hair, I asked what had happened to the previous young lady? "She thought you didn't like the way she was cutting your hair, and that's why you left." "No, that isn't why. See, I was just recently diagnosed with, blah, blah, blah...... and I am not always cognizant of my actions" And that is where the dream stopped. I found it kinda strange that I am now dreaming about this shitty disease and am wondering if this is my mind

Compensating?

This is a very tricky thing with me: it manifests itself in a couple of ways - one of which makes my conversation partner think I may be hard of hearing. (I am - too much loud rock in the many bands I played drums in , in my younger days). So what usually happens in the "Are you hard of hearing?" scenario is this: 1. I may really not have understood a sentence, and I will guess at what was said and respond with something completely unrelated to what was talked about, causing my conversation partner to say " Huh? " and then he or she will repeat what was said a little slower until I "get" it. Secondly, my mind has "taken a vacation" 2. I may have shut out the whole thing (hearing but not listening) and then, when time comes for me to reply, I will again reply with something "off the wall". Sometimes I will forget a co-worker's name - someone I see on a regular basis and when he or she speaks to me, calling me by name, and I canno

Hallucinating?????

Yep, it's got to be the Exelon patch, because I wasn't doing it before I started wearing it, but yesterday sleeping in the daytime (due to my night-shift weekend job), I felt like I was in a Stephen King novel, and even though my eyes were shut, it seemed that I was seeing things very clearly through my eyelids. Weird, huh? But what's even weirder is that I was enjoying what I was experiencing! I remember very clearly sitting by the ocean, playing my guitar and suddenly being swept into the water, guitar and all, and it was okay! Then, in another segment, I was this young "drifter" who went from job to job and was very good at what I did. So much so that people didn't want me to leave. But I stuttered, and the longer I stayed, the worse I stuttered. Anyone wanna try to interpret these weird scenes? ;) And no, I've never done LSD. Have a great weekend! Bill

The Essential Truth Of What Is And What Can Never Be

So often one hears of a person who loses his sight, but gains strength in another one of his or her senses: smell or hearing for instance. Is that always the case, or does it depend upon the person and his/her ability or desire to make the remaining senses stonger? This is a rhetorical question, (unless one of my readers knows the answer, of course). And if it is the case then what happens with other debilitating diseases? Mine, for instance? If the plaque, the tangles, and the shrinkage start to get worse, do I have another ability to "to take up the slack", as it were? No, I do not, because AD affects the whole brain. Take another "tour of the brain" on www.alz.org and look at all 16 slides, if you care. Note the "normal" brain and the brain of "advanced Alzheimer's". That is one ugly-looking thing isn't it? So what's left? What's left is to keep going, keep working, keep hoping and take each day as it comes, hard as that may

"You Were Telling Me About That"

I am hearing this more and more often nowadays. I'll be thinking I'm telling someone something new and I will have already told them a few days back. A couple of nights ago, I think I ordered some Christmas presents over the phone but I'm not sure now. I suppose I could plead being very very absent-minded and call the company to see. Stuttering and stammering is more noticeable. Even the neurologist noticed it during my appointment. I read tonight that the Exelon patch worsens the Parkinson's, but I haven't noticed that myself, so maybe I'm one of those who won't be affected, and it's only been 2 days since I started with the patch, so I really am not giving it a chance. Something was written over on my alz.org site about Alzheimer's being a terminal disease which really brought it home to me. I realize this entry is a bit "disjointed", but I'll get it together again. Seven days from today I'll be landing in Frankfurt and I am tryi

Sometimes You Just Need A Little "Oooomph!" ;)

Sometimes you just have to fight back. God, I'm so tired of fighting back! Need some strentgh, please! Kwitcher whining, Bill!!!!!!!!!!

Terminology And Other Stuff

Some appropriate music for the "Journey" Before I get into the results of today's doctor visit, I need to correct some terminology, okay? I don't have "Alzheimer's". What I have is called Alzheimer's Related Dementia . The difference between the 2 terms is we won't know if I have AD until I kick the bucket and they take a slice of brain tissue. Then y'all can say, "Well, the poor slob did have Alzheimer's!" :) I wonder if that's a mandatory thing, an autopsy, if you have Alzheimer's Related Dementia? Guess that's something else for me to research. Okay, here's what my neuro guy told me today: 1. No tumor 2. No Encephalitis 3. No elevated white blood count (indicative of an infection) 4. No TB 5. And no AIDS "No AIDS????!!!!", you're saying to yourselves, right? Right, no AIDS. But not because I am an IV drug user, or had a sexual encounter where I sustained some uh, rear-end damage , or caught th

Major "Apprehensa-tit-i-ty"!

Today at 1:45 is my neuro appointment, and I'm really not looking forward to going, and I keep asking myself, "Wouldn't things have been okay if you had just never questioned all this memory loss and shit?" And also I am asking myself: "How much worse are you making it on yourself now that you know ???? My point: Wouldn't it be better not to know you're dying and then just keel over dead???? Irrational thinking, right? Yeah, I know: It's apples and oranges. Everybody wants a quick death (preferably shot in the back by a jealous husband while in the "saddle" ;)), but few of us are that lucky. Trouble with me is that I am a "Keep It Simple Stupid" (KISS) kinda guy, and I hate things that complicate my life!!!! When I run into complications, I'm like that old ATARI game where, if you're not careful, you get shocked running into walls. Anyone remember the name of that one? Anyway, glad y'all are "here" I'

Drinkin' Wine, Spodee-O-Dee! :)

From a very good friend: Shayna . Read and "Drink up, Dudes and Dudettes". :) I even have you some good wine-drinkin' music to go along with the reading material below........ Shayna , this one's for you , Hon! How Red Wine Compounds Fight Alzheimer's Disease (http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2008/11/081121092454.htm) ================================================================================== ScienceDaily (Nov. 23, 2008) — Scientists call it the "French paradox" — a society that, despite consuming food high in cholesterol and saturated fats, has long had low death rates from heart disease. Research has suggested it is the red wine consumed with all that fatty food that may be beneficial — and not only for cardiovascular health but in warding off certain tumors and even Alzheimer's disease. Now, Alzheimer's researchers at UCLA, in collaboration with Mt. Sinai School of Medicine in New York, have discovered how red wine may reduce the in

Wanna Help?

Some of us on www.alz.org have started an e-mail campaign suggesting Oprah Winfrey do a show on EOD/AD (Early Onset Alzheimer's/Alzheimer's Disease). It would be greatly appreciated if those of you following my blog, and also those who have loved ones with AD would also send an e-mail in care of http://www.oprah.com/contactus Below is a copy of what I wrote: Thanks very much! Bill =============================================================================== Dear Oprah, I am a 58 year old (otherwise very healthy) health care professional (respiratory therapist) recently diagnosed with Early Onset Alzheimer's. In the course of my work, I see many patients with dementia, but never expected to be one myself, and I am very concerned because I love my job and I want to be able to take care of my patients as long as I am able. I am very fortunate to have a neurologist who is following me very closely, but I know not everyone with AD is as lucky as me, so I would like to sugges

Is This A Whine?

If so, can I have some cheese, please? :) One of my favorite things to do at this time of year is to buy Christmas presents for my friends and Significant Other. Those people who foolishly think of me as a friend and "put up" with me throughout the year always are thought of in special ways with gifts that are geared toward their interests, and it is just a thrill to see their happy "little kid" smiles when they open their presents. In short, it gives me a great deal of pleasure to look for and present them with gifts. Because it is such a special activity of mine, it's a "throughout the year" activity and by the time the holidays are here, it's all done. This year will be a bit different, because (are you ready for the whine? ), I'll be on my own with no Significant Other. I think the anti-depressants (I am on two: Welbutrin and Cymbalta) may help a bit, and it would help a lot if I had to work, but unfortunately it's my turn to have

Mixed Emotions, Etc.....

I don't know how I feel about this, but here's a site you may find helpful if you have a loved one with AD: http://www.alzstore.com/index.html. I probably need that time/date clock, but I'm not really too thrilled about the price. Right now I'm still fine looking at the bottom right hand corner of my computer, and sending myself reminders with my YAHOO account about appointments, work schedule, company coming, etc. Had an episode this evening when I could not find my car keys, and I turned the place upside down till I was almost late for work. Last place I looked is where they were: they had fallen into my courier bag (my so-called "Man-Purse" :>)) when I laid them on top of it instead of on the kitchen table. I guess I need a better system, right? I'll make a sign that says CAR KEYS in big letters with a hook to hang them on. I get a little nuts when I lose something like my keys or my glasses and I don't always stop and think "rationally&qu

Home For The Holidays

Well, the PRE holidays, anyway. Twice a year I manage to get home to Germany and visit my friends and family, and this time although I can't make it right at Christmas, I will be there for the start of the Christmas markets and festivities, and since I am a big fan of Christmas, it's my favorite time of year to visit. I'll be there from December 5th through the 11th. Every one who hears me say that wants to know "why only for 6 days, Bill". It's because I don't go as a tourist and 6 days is long enough. You know what they say about fish and visiting relatives right? "The first few days are okay, but after a while it begins to stink." This year is also a sad time to visit, since I have an uncle with lung cancer who isn't doing so well and this could very well be my last time to see him alive. He will not be told of the AD, and I am wondering about telling my best friend. I know he would understand and empathize, but hell, it's Christm

Every 72 Seconds........

...... someone is diagnosed with Alzheimers. By 2020, it will be every 32 seconds. We need to get a grip on this disease, ASAP. Thanks Bill

The Straight Dope and Other Stuff

For about 7 years now I have been a member of The Straight Dope ( ), an international message board with some very caring and knowledgable folks as members. Got a question? Post it there and within minutes you will have an answer. I mention the Dope because many of my friends are there, and they have been very kind and supportive of their friend "Quasimodem" (my nickname there). The slogan there is "Fighting Ignorance Since 1973 (It's Taking Longer than We Thought!) and I highly recommend joining. Not only for questions answered, but for advice and saving money. In other "Bill News", I have established telephone contact with Tom , a heretofore "online" friend from the alz.org website. He has been so supportive and helpful to me, and like me, Tom has good days and bad days, so we make each other available 24/7 just in case we have a "trouble spot". Tom has his very own strong support in his wife Gerry who refuses to believe anything e

New Beginnings = Little Victories

Sometimes, when I do something "routine" or "normal", it makes me feel better. For instance: Getting a haircut, trimming my nails, washing the car, changing the sheets on the bed, all of those things give me a feeling of "comfort" and a feeling of "accomplishment". That doesn't seem like a "big deal" to someone who has a "normal" life, but for someone who has no idea what the new day will bring as far as how he feels, those "little victories" feel just fine, thank you. Plans for this upcoming week include catching some sales for Christmas presents for my friends and family back home in Germany, doing some packing, maybe some cleaning, taking some old clothes to Goodwill, take some food to the animal shelter or maybe "none of the above". Maybe I'll just immerse myself in Azeroth (World of Warcraft) with my warriors Esilem and Wolkenlaufer , and do some "Questing". I find if I put too muc

Early Onset Alzheimer's And Intelligence

Many of the people who now know of my diagnosis are wondering why I'm not sitting in some corner drooling, or how I can still function on a day to day basis, (i.e. drive, buy groceries, do my job), and they're asking themselves if I may not be overreacting. I can tell because when I tell them to ask me questions, more than likely they'll ask what I'm doing (or not doing) that makes me agree with my doctor that I have EOAD? When I mention forgetting the day or the date, 9 times out of ten I'll hear, "Oh, hell! I do that !!!!" It's only when I go into detail such as asking them "Well, have you ever convinced yourself that you're off on a certain day and didn't go into work till someone called you? Have you ever gotten disoriented while driving a familiar route? Did you ever misplace an item and then swore someone stole it from you?" - that they get quiet. I know they mean well, but they just don't take into consideration that i

Understanding Dementia

I want to share an article with you which may be downloaded here: http://www.alzheimercambridge.on.ca/about_dementia.htm You'll need to copy and paste the link into your browser and then scroll down the page till you find the article titled Understanding The Dementia Experience. It's a very well-written primer on AD and it's stages, and how bad things can get. It will also help to explain some of what is erroneously seen as aggressiveness or belligerence. After reading it myself, and knowing I am in the beginning stages of AD, I couldn't help but think how very strong a caregiver must be. Not only strong , but very intelligent and vigilant. As you read the PDF, think of a magician and how he or she performs magic: How? By distraction, and in its latter stages, when the patient can no longer perform tasks by himself, the caregiver's job is to figure out a way to steer him in the proper direction without "arguing" him into it and many times that will call fo

Forgetting Stuff

I am so glad that the majority of my bills are now paid by auto-debit, because in my current state of absent-mindedness, I don't think I could remember all the due dates and amounts. In my last entry I mentioned misplacing things and then not being able to find them when they are needed. The latest is a credit card I use only in emergencies, and the only reason I haven't panicked is because I know it's somewhere in my apartment. I know this because I checked the latest charge and it was made about a month ago, and nothing has been charged since then, so it's a matter of just finding it. More than likely it's in a pocket of a pair of jeans (I'm bad to not return a card to its place in my wallet). If not, then of course I will cancel it. Another instance which has me worried occurred Thursday. My answering machine took a call regarding a television delivery, and while lying in bed reading Thursday night, I happened to think that I needed to set up an appointment

My EOAD Support FORCE

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==================================================================================== I am so very fortunate to have some wonderful friends making this journey with me, and here are just three of them: That's me with my grandson Julian at the Georgia Aquarium, next is my Grand Niece Madison born just this year, and the third picture is my Grand Nephew Matthew.I call them "The Nukes" (for "nuclear family"), and as I add entries to this blog, I invite you to send me a picture to add to my EOAD "FORCE". I just wrote an e-mail to a friend in which I told her that heretofore seemingly insignificant things have suddenly become very important to me, and these "things" are "people". Wonderful people such as my EOAD buddy "Tom T" whom I met through the message board of alz.org, and whose comments you have read on this blog. Also my friend from "Down Under" who calls himself "The Loaded Dog", but who's real

Symptoms So Far

So you've read my words, you know my fears and my experiences, but what about my "symptoms"? Here is a short list of what I have noticed myself. I have yet to ask others what they have seen. ===================================================================================== Alzheimer's symptoms so far: 1. Short-term memory loss (dry cleaning will be in plain view and I will still walk out without it, despite having told myself just minutes before that I need to take it with me) 2. Loss of words (even very common ones) during conversations 3. Inappropriate speech 4. Aimless walking around either at home or on the job. 5. Forgetting of appointments 6. Inability to think logically (would have ordered a piece of furniture which did not match what is already here) 7. Misplacing objects, unable to find them in their usual locations and thinking they may have been stolen. This often includes money or a passport or even car keys 8. Inability to retain even short pieces of

"Hello Walls"

Remember that old Faron Young tune? Some of you are probably too young, but it's one of those "cry in your beer" old-time country tunes, about a guy who misses his loved one, so he winds up talking to inanimate objects such as the windows, ceiling and of course, the walls. "Now why would he bring that up?", you may be asking yourselves. Well, I am bringing that up because there was a time when I would have felt like that guy in the song, but now I can't even get up the energy to be angry at her anymore, and I am wondering about the significance of that? Am I entering another stage of EOAD? The "I don't give a shit about anything anymore" stage? I have noticed I am not as fastidious as I once was: don't clean my place as often, hate to even load the dishwasher, and on the days when I stay in, I'm likely just to give myself a "spongebath" rather than a complete shower. Same with shaving or even eating anything, and if I do